Win some, lose some...

They keep saying, you got to do what you got to do. I could not agree more. Why I say this is because many a times in life, one stands at crossroads and every road tempts you. One of the infinite occasions when this happened to me was when I began my college life post Idol. On the one hand, there was the desire to capitalize on the new found (not to mention short lasting) fame that the dramatic face of television had given me and on the other, there was the conventional college life, acknowledged by most individuals as the most memorable years of their life. The decision was mind boggling to say the least. Struggling to find work in the many studios in the dingy by-lanes of Adarsh Nagar, or cherishing the never-ending classroom jamming? Networking tirelessly on the internet or savoring the unhygienic canteen food? :P Keeping the event organisers happy or keeping the professors content? I had to arrive at some conclusion for life wouldn't spare me otherwise...

I finally decided that on the musical front, I will accept whatever work I get, but will not let that affect my college life. That meant that I did not go about work hunting. Ever since my life after Idol, I have been fortunate enough to get shows and recordings frequently but I must admit that professionally, things could have been way better if I had tried harder. I could have been juggling crazy amounts of work if I had decided to give graduation a backseat. But I have no regrets. None, whatsoever; chiefly because I was determined to enjoy my college life. As a child artiste on stage, many a times I felt that I missed out on certain really beautiful moments of childhood. The stage matured me before I would have wanted to; involuntarily, that too. I was quite sure that I did not want to penetrate the big, bad world of glamor already, what with ugly cut throat competition out there with a fresh crop of singers with every reality show!

Life has been amazing after having made this decision. I go to college, hang out with my buddies, enjoy the vigorous and testing project work that comes along with the prestigious Wilson BMM, participate and scream my lungs out in festivals, chill out endlessly at the McKenzie premises and fool around the beautiful Wilson College campus, in general. Yes, it is hard to keep everyone happy and the professors don't exactly love me. After all, I can't let go of my first passion in life, right? I do the shows and go for the recordings as and when I find the time, which obviously leads to an attendance that I am not quite proud of. The defaulters' list loves m more than gravity loves apples :D And after every semester I hear those wise words from Prof. Sudhakar Solomon Raj, "You must learn how to balance the two things."

To that, well, what can I say? Dear Sir, it's not that simple... but I'll try :)

'MySha': My take on Aisha

Firstly, sorry for the gay title but I'm kinda sleepy. Secondly, three days after a film releases is not the perfect time to come up with its review of sorts but since 'Aisha' was an integral part of my day today, I feel the need to talk about it.

It is hard for me to begin without saying that Aisha lacks a concrete, well-written story! The resident 'Emma' is not quite a tale per se. The entire film revolves around 'Aisha' (Sonam Kapoor), the the typical spoilt, rich fashionista who, at the end of the day is very good at heart (wow, SO unpredictable). However, she has this unintentional tendency to take charge of others' lives and decide what they should do what they shouldn't. Not a healthy habit which she obviously realizes by the end of the flick (happy endings are mandatory here). So basically: Aisha, and her relationship with a bunch of rich Delhiites that form her folks is pretty much the entire 'story'. Planning to not watch it thus? Re-think! There are enough positives in the film.

The characterizations are beautifully done. Casting is near perfect. Arjun (Abhay Deol) is that witty, secure, caring and chivalrous guy that any sane girl will effortlessly fall in love with. Flawless acting by the hottest Deol yet (after Dharmendra of course). Amrita Puri has done a good job as the behenji- turned- babe 'Shefali', while Lisa Hayden is every bit the super hot 'Aarti'. Ira Dubey fits 'Pinky Bose's' shoes quite effortlessly with oodles of sarcasm. Sonam Kapoor however, falls flat. As if the bad acting isn't enough, the nasality makes life worse! Sadly, she is the lead :( Barring her though, every actor has done a great job which certainly makes the film watchable.

Amit Trivedi for sure deserves a very special mention for the breathtaking Music (both songs as well as the background score). A more than hummable title track, a soulful love song, a sensuous Salsa track, an infectious dance track, Aisha has it all. Music lovers are especially requested to go watch Aisha for the songs alone, if nothing else.

The stylists for this film need to take the bow of all bows. The characters are all very stylish, chic and sophisticated through and through. As far as the style and fashion quotient is concerned, Aisha establishes a benchmark and new standards for Bollywood to follow. At the price of one movie ticket, Aisha is a rather pocket-friendly crash course in fashion!

Another big plus would have to be the witty dialogues. The dialog writer has done quite a job with the pen. Arjun's lines are quirky and hilarious more often than not and Pinky takes the cake on more than one occasion with those harmless sarcastic remarks. Humor is an essential part of the film practically throughout, more so in the first half. One will definitely have a hearty laugh at regular intervals. In a crux, I could put the positives and negatives as follows:

Positives: Characterizations, acting (except Sonam), the songs, the background score, the styling, lavish doses of humor, the flawless look of the film, the feel good factor.

Negatives: No concrete story, pathetic acting by Sonam Kapoor, sloppy editing, very average script.

All in all though, Aisha is thoroughly watchable. You'll come out of the cinema hall smiling most probably. Don't expect to carry with you some great learning experience. Aisha is not one of those cinematic milestones. It's more of a feel good one time watch. Fashionable girls would more than adore the film. It's a chick flick in that sense. The last verdict: Watch it once if you're not terribly busy.

Bhavnaon ko samjho!

I just realized how hard it is for one to truly express what their friends mean to them. Nonetheless, I will try. Btw, what follows is NOT a poem. It's just a collection of super random comparisons. Also, if you ever have to judge my writing skills, DO NOT do it on the basis of this one! :D Ok, here we go.

When life is a turbulent stream, you are my ocean of tranquility.

When life is a bunch of cacti, you are my garden of roses.

When life is a ruthless little bitch, you are a blessing sent from heaven.

When life is a headache, you are my aspirin.

When life is Himmesh Reshammiya, you are my Asha Bhosle.

When life is "hunger", you are my packet of Maggi.

When life is boredom, you are my "How I met your Mother".

When life is a bad hair day, you are the most amazing wig.

When life is a tooti hui chappal, you are my adorable mochi.

When life is a tasteless salad, you are the thousand island dressing.

When life is a massive stair case, you are the fastest elevator.

When life is an undesired drought, you are my incessant rainfall.

When life is a super tense moment, you are my Dairy Milk Bar!

I don't know what the hell I'm saying out here but the bottomline after all this trash is that you make all those tough moments so much easier to live through. You bring zing into the uneventful phases of my life. You solve all my problems and make me smile when it (smiling) is the last thing on my mind. You make every moment worth living for me. YOU COMPLETE ME!

And the fact that you've actually read through all of this bull crap just goes on to show how much you love me. Thanks for being there whenever I thought I needed you, and even when I didn't :P Thanks for all the girl talks (only the girls re), all the free food, all the counselling, all the gyaan on life... Thanks for acknowledging my presence even when I majorly embarrassed you (Shadu and Ally. LOL) Thanks for like EVERYTHING! Thanks for just being there... Gosh, I've really momentarily lost the ability to express myself but damn, you know what I wanna say. I don't need to actually tell it out loud for you to know and that's why you're my friend. I don't know if I'm the best friend ever, but you surely are! *Bear hugs*

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!

Sleep deprived... Forever!

If there is one thing that takes up as much or more time in my life as my Music, it has to be SLUMBER! I could well classify it as my alternate passion, if it wouldn't be too quirky to do so. Just give it a thought. I am one of those people, who can sleep, sleep, sleep some more and then just catch up on some remaining sleep. It is NEVER the wrong time for me to say, "I am sleep deprived", and NEVER the right time for me to say "Ah, enough of sleep. Can't sleep any more." I mean, I know of people who love sleeping, but I take it to a whole new level. I never fail to amaze my self with my "slumber stamina" to be precise. But then what to do, the satisfaction that 9, 10, 11, or how many ever hours of sleep gives me is so incomparable! It is like I am in some faraway la la land... Perfect escape in this weather. Rainy, gloomy, boring and dull all the time. On a breezy, rainy day, a cozy blanket and my comfy bed are my best friends :) Well, they are so most of the times but just more so on the kind of day mentioned above.

Every morning, I make myself get up some-freaking-how, but it is so much easier to just slump back into the dreamy world. I pity my alarm clock's snooze option. There's every chance that it is the world's most overworked gadget. Every morning is a disastrous attempt at reaching college in time. My Mom really astonishes me with her body clock. Alarm or no alarm, she is up before five every morning. Looks like the love for prim and proper surroundings is not the only positive I failed to inherit :P If there are people out there, who completely relate to what I'm trying to convey, they'll also know how hard it is for things to not be the way they are. I mean, it's not like I haven't tried or anything. I have even tried putting Himesh Reshammiya's tracks as the alarm tone. Damn! How I love to sleep.

I am quite unclear about why I love to sleep so much. My laziness of course is the direct logical connotation here. Let's just face it, I'm one of those people who love to run away from work and love to procrastinate, unless of course, we're talking Music. So laziness, yes, definitely. But beyond that, there could be a reason more complex, and I swear whatever I am going to say is not necessarily in my defense or just for the heck of it, there could be solid reasoning involved here. What if I love to sleep because my sleep transports me to a place much more desirable? Like, a world full of Music, free of corruption, a world where everyone can just be their own selves and not give a damn to what the 'messiahs' of social conduct have to say, a world where I have already accomplished my long list of dreams I am striving hard to achieve. What if even when I am in my senses, I want to sub-consciously ward off to that Utopian paradise? Think about it. I could be telling more than just my story here.

Sure enough, a day full of work leads to an instant, dreamless sleep but that is not routine you know. On other days, there could be different reasons for one to take to the best almost instantaneously. For me, it is almost like, if I am done with my Riyaz, there is nothing else that needs to be done and I doze off. I am the champ at finding excuses to sleep! Probably it is about prioritizing one's life. There are a million things out there that I could give importance to, like cooking for my family sometimes, taking a lesson in a foreign language etc but sleep is just so much more important. Wow! Back to square one, aren't we? But I am inspired to change somehow. Won't stop trying, never will. Hopefully, tomorrow I might have a tale to tell about how I made it to the 7:30 am lecture. Jesus, that's almost unimaginable! So while I am at it, pray for me people and while you're at it... ah, forget it, I am so bored, I think I need to sleep :D zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A melodious life... :)

Most of us are perennially busy in expressing displeasure over everything that life DOES NOT have to offer, and for all I know, I am no exception. Today, however, for a very pleasant change, I was counting my blessings, and boy, there were too many! But the biggest of them all would have to be me being a musician. First of all, how many people out there are blessed enough to have their hobby and their profession intersect completely? I mean, just think about it, you are doing the one thing that you love doing all the time, and you get good money for it. Ha, Thanks God, I genuinely think I love you. And this time, I mean it! That apart, another massive plus that comes with being a singer is that there is little scope for loneliness and negativity in one's life. Every time I feel momentarily low, I resort to my music, my singing and tada, I'm all smiles within no time.

In the past, I have had a lot of friends realizing their liking for each other courtesy some romantic rendition by me going on faintly in the background. Makes me feel proud and happy! And did I forget to tell you that at the randomest (no, that's not a word :P) of hours, some pals call me up and say, "Hey Bhav, I'm just feeling all stuck up right now and I need you to sing for me. RIGHT NOW!". I can't help but smile, and sing of course. Life, for me is like a river, that flows in the shape of a smile :) It is a priceless feeling when you know that your music is making life worth living for someone out there. During Indian Idol, all of us finalists visited a home for the unprivileged. Naturally, being crooners, we did our thing for the little kids by singing out lines from their favorite Bollywood numbers. It was really not a big deal for us, but the smiles it brought on their faces were just so heart-warming. It was those smiles that made us realize that God was truly gracious while gifting us with our music.

I can't help but recollect a page from my yearbook post tenth grade. My English teacher, Mrs. Nair, had filled in a sheet saying, "Dear Bhavya, Music is the greatest and the best instrument to provide peace and harmony to mankind. You are God's chosen one to provide this peace and harmony to many a people out there." Thanks Ma'am! Today, I agree with you more than ever. Cheers to the melody called life!

Classically Light :)

They keep saying, "The GenNext has close to no interest in Indian Classical Music. How will the rich Indian musical heritage survive? What will it take to inculcate the love for such Music among the young guns?" Surely a cause of major concern, but somehow, it has never bothered me too much. Mainly because from its very inception, classical Music was never meant for the masses. Even in the eras gone by, the soulful classical renditions belonged to elitist spaces like the ruling king's court etc. The common folk, on the other hand, always resorted to folk music for leisure and entertainment. The Thumris, Taans and Aalaps, were, therefore, never catered to the masses' sensibilities. As rightly put by a young Indian Classical Musician, Classical Music is like Sushi... one simply cannot expect the whole wide world out there to like it, one needs to develop a taste for it. But once the aforesaid taste is developed, there is nothing that can stop one from loving it more and more everyday.

My talent as a singer was fortunately recognized at a very early stage. Consequently, my parents got me trained under the best classical musicians wherever we were. Nobody forced the love for this branch of music upon me. It was that awesome feeling, when you suddenly discover what you're born for, the very purpose of your life. At the tender age of 7, I knew that this was what I wanted my life to consist of. What do they call it? Epiphany, I guess :) The little me grew up, went on learning good music under different teachers, and everything was steering in the right direction. When I moved to Mumbai along with my family, I got widely exposed to light music. At first, I only knew a handful of Hindi film songs (sung by my Goddess Asha Bhosle), which were enough for me to win a couple of competitions. After that, various stage show organizers picked me up and I began performing old Hindi film numbers professionally. One thing led to another and light music also became an important part of my life. Not like I didn't enjoy it. I certainly did, immensely that too, just that nothing compares to the beauty of classical music. Life kept happening, and at the age of 16, I participated in the much talked about Indian Idol (season 4). I went on to reach the top 6 and was lucky enough to be remembered as one of the best contestants in that season.

Now that naturally meant a lot of large-scale stage shows post Idol. And yes, that very much happened. Those moments of glory were magnanimous in every sense, and still are. Luxury stays, mammoth like stages, thousands of people in the audience, never before seen glamor and all of that. But somewhere, there is this little glitch that remains. The love and respect for one's music is lesser on such platforms. People enjoy, have a gala time, make a lot of noise, and go back home elated, which is a very very good thing. But in a classical mehfil, there is soberness. Every artistic harkat is appreciated, just as every mistake is anything but spared. In the 'glam brigade', it matters little if you're going off-pitch every once in a while. As long as you're able to make the people groove incessantly, other things don't count. Today, as I was doing my Riyaaz with Guruji, Pt. Prabhakar Karekar, I realized, that nothing can grant me the kind of peace and contentment that an hour, or more, of my favourite Raag does. But why am I still so hooked to the light Music scenario. One, I do enjoy it, despite having said all that I have, I thoroughly enjoy myself on all such outings. Two, the bigger reason, the money it gets you. Oh yes, never before Idol could I imagine handsome payments for rendering as little as 4-5 songs in a show. It is insane, especially for a young soul like me. The excitement is just too much to control, moreso in the initial phases.

So today, I got thinking. If only classical music offered that kind of money, life would be even more amazing. I am just one of those people who want to be very rich, very fast. I don't know if so many ambitions come with being a Scorpion, but that's just the way I am. Not like I have compromised upon classical music, which is, the very point of this post. I still do my Riyaaz religiously every single day. It becomes hard to strike a balance sometimes. Sometimes, the monetary benefits in the light music field also lure one into believing that maybe sticking so tight to classical music is not the best idea. But in the next instance, I know that those are just passing thoughts that I am not supposed to pay much attention to. My life is full of both the forms of Music and I love them both a lot. There is too much practice involved in one, and too much competition in the other. One is for the classes, and one, for the masses. As a singer, I only feel too happy to work on my versatility and be able to cater to both the sections of society. Some day, I wish I could be an icon in the field of Indian Music by being a 'popular classical musician'. That would definitely be an arena not too well explored. I always wondered, what different I could do with my music so that I would have an edge over the others around me. Maybe, I have found the answer today. Everyday from now will be a lot of hard work and perseverance. Oh and by the way, for once in life, the grass is green on both sides of the fence ;)

Cheers

I can, you can, and so can the rest of the world...

One of my professors addressed the class very effectively today about how everyone can write. There is no person in this world who cannot write. At the very basic level, it is about noticing the small little 'somethings' that occur every single day in our lives. The quirkiness of a fruit-seller, the eccentricity of that weird neighbor, the witty humor of the guy next door... there is a story in everything. A story in every song you listen to, a story in every dream that you dream, a story in the food you eat, a story in every story that you hear. Might I admit, I was duly inspired. And so, as per the aforesaid professor's proposition, I am, starting today, going to make a conscious effort to write everyday (or at least much more frequently than I already do) about the small stories that constitute every day of ours.

This is really not my territory I feel but there are advantages of being bad at things. You can't get any worse you know, there is only scope for improvement. So the passage of time shall lead to the ageing of an apparently good habit, which in turn shall ward some rust off my mind and lead to an open, fresher space called my world, alternately speaking, this very blog. How I fare eventually is not my cause of concern. For all we know, I might just pause the process if the desired output is not to be seen. What matters, however, is that I am giving it a try at least. Attempting to do something today simply means 'no regrets' in the future. If someone relates to me and cultivates the habit themselves, nothing like it. Wow, I am already feeling good about myself. Alright, so starting today, there will be a whole new world of Music, beauty and life that will be explored and consequently blogged about. I am all smiles... I am proud of being me :)

Solitude, to the power of three.

The other day, someone very casually asked me, "So, you are in a family of how many people?". Instantaneously,I replied, "Three. Mom, Dad and me." And a moment later, I realised, I missed out Bro and so corrected myself almost immediately. The incident is not small enough to be ignored, it's only big enough to be pondered over.
At one time, we were a family of five, which reduced to four with the death of my very dear Grandma. But it's still supposed to be four of us right? Well, the problem here is, that ever since his Engineering days (When I was in grade 7), Bro has been living away from home because unfortunately, our parents are always posted somewhere else and his education/job happens elsewhere.

It's been years altogether now. He completed his engineering in Pune, while we all resided in Mumbai. He was recruited to HSBC, Pune immediately after his engineering. For good or for bad, he got the job in the city he loved so much; if only he loved Mumbai that much. Sigh! Then he began preparing for CAT for pursuing an MBA. Successful at getting admission in MDI, Gurgaon in his second attempt, he was off to the North for another couple of years. A few days back, he got convocated as he handsomely showed off the graduation robe, hat and a degree alongside. We were all elated! So, what after the MBA? Well, he got placed at Infosys, and is currently undergoing his two-month training in Hyderabad. Hyderabad is not his permanent location though. A ray of hope? well, NO because 'Infy', as everyone popularly calls Infosys, does not have a development centre in Mumbai. :( Which makes it another couple of years at least.

I am wondering when this sick roller coaster of a journey would end. Every time Bro is home, life seems so much better. My family, my world seems complete. The satisfaction of carrying one extra plate while laying the dinner table is immense. I long for him to be with us everyday, just like the three of us are together all the time.

Why did I suddenly come up with this note? Well, because last wekk, I was with Bro for about a week during his convocation in Gurgaon. I realised that time ssimply flies by when I am with him. Everything is so much nicer. I am kind of embarrassed to say this, but I do not essentially miss being around Mom and Dad or being at home when I am with Bro while the converse is almost invariably true.

I shall still positively wait for the day when my dream of having the jigsaw puzzle complete shall be realised. After all, 'Ummeed pe duniya kayam hai".

You know you're jobless when...

First Year Mass Media is done... flew by at lightening pace I must add. Seems like I just joined college as a nervous fresher a few days back. F.Y. has been amazing fun. Helpful friends, a class pretty much devoid of prejudiced spoilsports, an enviable faculty et al... Now the boring part! All the good things and some bad ones (like exams) are over and done with and it's now becoming hard to pass time. Joblessness is taking over me completely. Lately, I have found myself doing things I would never do otherwise and hence decided to come up with this note...

So here we go. You know you're jobless when any or all of these happen-

1. You resort to Facebook rather than facing a book.

2. You realise you're watching the Roadies/Splitsvilla Finale for the 24Th time.

3. Your phone bill rises dramatically.

4. You suddenly find yourself in the kitchen and cooking awesome stuff you never knew even existed. (This one is more on the constructive side)

5. You are watching a Kings XI Punjab match in IPL 3!

6. You are watching RGV ki Aag cos you're done watching all the other films on your hard disk.

7. You start enjoying 90s Bollywood music (Nadeem-Shravan, Sameer kind of songs)

8. When you go to comment on a friend's status and realise you've already done that. :|

9. When you start visiting Fakesu's profile way too often cos you find the 'beta' and 'I will slap you' too amusing.

10. When beating your friends in Crazy Taxi and the likes becomes more vital than grabbing yourself a meal.

11. You actually watch news coverage on Shoaib Malik and Sania Mirza's impending wedding! Add to that any other India TV News you may be watching...

12. You begin sleeping with eyes open.

13. You realise half your life is wasted without anything that you are very proud of.

14. When you can't wait for the darned vacations to get over! *SIGH*

15. And lastly, when you've read this entire piece of trash cox you had nothing else to do!!! :(

Cheers to Joblessness!! *Hail 'Vellapanti'*

Statutory Warning!

Greetings

First of all, do not let the title mislead you in any way. I am a rather docile person (or, not hostile at least!). I smile, I laugh, I am everything pleasant. And guess what, I don't even bite! (I sting sometimes though on account of being a typical scorpion). It's just that this is my space and an outlet for my expression. Thus, I would appreciate if no one 'guides' me what to write. Constructive criticism is welcome of course, but then again, I do not remotely claim to be a writer in the making. A blog was like a missing link in my life and you just need that space sometimes where you can let go. This is going to be my space for that very purpose.

Now when one unwinds one's mind, what follows is random more often than not. If we do project our emotions as they our in our little, overburdened heads, the result is likely to be far from pleasant most often; a reflection of personal connotations in most cases. In such situations, it is plain annoying if anyone has any 'guidance' to give about what the content could have been or should have been or anything such. I do not care about the 'could haves' and 'should haves'. I am who I am and this is where I am going to express myself to the best of my ability. It is best if I don't fool myself and the world by refining whatever I have to say and subjecting it to the oh-so-floral-beautiful-language. Why? well, simply because that is not me...

I am not Wordsworth, I am not Eliot, I am not even Chetan Bhagat. I am just a regular girl trying to solve a million questions about her existence in the complexities of what we call the world. I have talents, God has gifted me as well, but not with the ability to bowl people over with my writing prowess. I'd much rather sing some words well written by better writers :) Indeed, singing is my thing, my life, my world, my cup of tea, coffee... my mug of beer or whatever else! This, as I said before, is just an outlet. For me, and whoever else cares to read this, to know and understand myself better.

Cheers

Bhavya Pandit